Randy Ridenour

May God Forgive Me

Aug 18, 2007

I may have committed the unpardonable sin. I threw two boxes of books in the dumpster. Or more accurately, I had the sergeant throw two boxes of books in the dumpster. This is the Army, after all.

Before I got here, I think I have only thrown away one book in my entire life. It was a copy of William Peter Blatty's book,  The Exorcist, that I read in high school. It scared me so badly that I couldn't bear the thought of it sitting on my bookshelf.

Before I got here, I thought a nice thing to do would be to have people send books and open up a library in my office. Evidently, I was not the first person to have that idea. When I took over the office, there was already a bookcase with five shelves, each shelf completely full with books stacked three deep. I have more books than anyone could read in the year, especially on our duty schedule.

When I got here, the outgoing chaplain told me, "Here are two more boxes of books that I didn't put on the shelves, you do with them what you want." Later, I opened the boxes, and they were filled with western romance novels. The covers had cowboys with jeans, hats, and nothing else, and women in dresses that left little to the imagination. So, we tossed them out.

Now, to be perfectly honest, it's not the sex that bothers me; it's the fear that my colleagues in the English department would find out that I'm peddling western romance novels. The evidence is gone, and the witnesses are sworn to silence.

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