Another package arrived in the mail today, wrapped in tissue paper with my address scrawled in permanent marker. Is it art? Let's consider the theories that are in contention.
Art as mimesis - No human being has eyes like that, so it's a bad imitation.
Art as expression - Surely the artist couldn't have been experiencing the same emotion that I'm experiencing as I look on these. I wouldn't wish that on any human being.
Formalism - What do you really think Clive Bell would say about this?
Institutional theory - Purporting to confer the status of art in this case is conclusive proof that you never had the right to confer such status at all.
I'm standing by my earlier claim: it's still not art.
I hope that sale at the dollar store ends soon.